


I Don't Need Pride Right Now

by Venus in pisces (OTD)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha Remus Lupin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Omega Sirius Black, One Night Stands, Sexism, Sirius Black Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-16 00:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14800643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTD/pseuds/Venus%20in%20pisces
Summary: The thing about growing up omega in The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was that when it came to sex omegas weren’t taught anything.Which complicates things a lot, because a) he doesn’t know shit about what’s going to happen and b) he knows that he needs an alpha.Enter... Avery II?





	1. Pride

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't know who Avery II is: 
> 
> "Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."  
> —Lily Evans 
> 
> Also in case you were wondering, in 1969 Sirius is about 10 and Narcissa is 14/15 (which means she had her heat earlier than most omegas). She bonds with Lucius when she's 16 and he's 18.

The thing about growing up omega in The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was that when it came to sex omegas weren’t taught anything. Sirius vaguely remembered his father pulling him aside when he was twelve and telling him that when the right alpha came – right meaning: pureblood, wealthy, and traditional – the only thing Sirius had to do was, “lie back and think of England”. 

But long gone were the days when he could talk to his father about what being an omega meant, his mother had severed their relationship when she had publicly disowned him. 

_“You’re a disgrace to the family name! Dirty, worthless, mudblood-loving slut!”_

The advice his father had given him had been outdated but it had been advised, and now Sirius didn't know who to talk to. His friends were out, all of them alphas – including Wormtail, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt that someone as timid as Peter was superior to him – and sure they were the _good_ type of alpha but Sirius wasn’t comfortable talking about his biology with them. 

But… he was running out of options because late bloomer or not, most omegas have their first heat at sixteen. Which complicates things a lot, because a) he doesn’t know shite about what’s going to happen and b) he knows that he needs an alpha. And dammit Sirius is as brave as the next Gryffindor but the idea of having sex with an alpha is not a pleasant one. 

**_Rosier Mansion, 1969_**

_The air in the dining room was tense with anticipation and Sirius himself was filled with dread. Narcissa wasn’t making matters any easier because as soon as Andromeda had asked what everyone was thinking, she had gone pale and quiet._

__

__

_"Come on Cissy, it couldn't have been that bad," Bella sneered, "sure boys that young don't know what they're doing but this is the Malfoy heir we’re talking about."_

_Narcissa played with the napkin on her lap, head bowed and voice soft, “It just wasn’t what I expected.”_

_A scoff was heard, it seemed that Andromeda was disappointed with the lack of details, as was Sirius, Narcissa as the only ~~other~~ omega in the family had been the first to go through her heat. Her sisters, both betas, were naturally curious. _

_“Unexpected how?”_

_Sirius was horrified to realize the question had come from him._

_“You’re so young,” Cissy blushed, “you shouldn’t even be listening to this conversation.”_

_“Mother said I was old enough to drink tea with all of you!”_

_Andromeda cleared her throat, “Besides, Sirius might want to know for future reference.”_

_“That’s right,” Bella said with a mean smile, “our soon to be omega boy. The first one in decades to_ grace _the House of Black.”_

_Sirius flushed angrily, “You don’t know that yet! I’m too young.”_

_Andromeda shushed him and put a biscuit in his plate, "You're right, little cousin, you're too young for us to know. Still, it doesn't hurt to be prepared, so Cissy put the poor boy at ease and tell us how it was to spend a heat with an alpha."_

_The uncomfortable silence was back._

_“It was painful, confusing and endless.” Narcissa’s pale blue eyes found Sirius, “it was the worst experience of my life.”_

_Bella’s shrilly laughter filled the dining room and Andromeda’s scolding followed. But Sirius was sure that Cissy wasn’t pulling a prank._

_The napkin on her lap had been destroyed irreversibly._

_Two years later they had their mating ceremony in front of the whole family, it was lovely, and Narcissa’s smile never wavered, but Sirius couldn’t forget what she said that day._

The decision to choose an alpha was driving Sirius insane. He briefly thought about asking one of the Marauders but what if they treated him different afterwards? What if that was the last straw and they decided that being friends with him (with an omega) was too much?

He knew what his only option was – Avery II – the alpha that his parents had arranged for him. He was sure the arrangement was over the second his mother burned him off the family tree, but if Avery had been willing then maybe he was still willing. 

Decision made he squared his shoulders and resolved to ask Avery that same day. 

“Oi, Black!” James shouted, voice muffled by the door separating their room from the loo, “Hurry up or Flitwick is going to give us detention.” 

He opened the door with a bang, his mask back in place, “Some of us don't want to look like we have a birds nest in our heads, Potter.” 

“I’ll have you know that birds love my hair,” James said with a cheeky grin, no doubt proud of his pun. 

Sirius groaned, “You’re such a dimwit and that joke –.”

“Now, now, no need for insults,” Remus said fondly, “you both are very pretty girls.” 

Sirius didn't blush at being called pretty by Remus, no sir.

The day passed on a similar note, with James being annoying and Remus making him blush at the most inappropriate moments. But Sirius couldn't let himself enjoyed it because he kept expecting to run into Avery at any moment. 

When he did, it was weirdly anticlimactic. 

The black-haired boy was just sitting on a bench outside the potions classroom surrounded by his little group of friends, he even appeared to be smiling which did nothing to calm Sirius's nerves.

Hoping they wouldn't ask too many questions he told the Marauders to keep walking, that Slughorn needed to talk to him about something. James looked at him weird but thankfully no questions were asked. 

Swallowing his pride, and Merlin how was he going to do _that_ with Snivellus present, Sirius approach the group of Slytherins. 

Head slightly bowed he spoke, “Avery? I was wondering if we could talk somewhere private.” 

Nothing. The boy wasn’t even looking at him. 

“What do you want, Black?” Snivellus spat. 

Now was not the time to insult Avery’s friends. 

“I need to speak to Avery alone for a moment,” he said through gritted teeth. 

Snape appeared surprised by the reply, but Avery continued talking with Mulciber as if nobody was there. 

Was he really that desperate? 

Yes. 

“Alpha Avery,” Sirius said flushing brightly, “I would like if we could talk somewhere quiet.” 

The boy in question finally turned to look at him, “Now, was that so hard omega?” 

He hadn't use formal language for so long, it was unsettling.

“I asked you a question,” Avery said, eyebrows raised. 

He was really rusty if an alpha needed to correct his behaviour in public. 

“No, alpha.” 

He briefly raised his eyes from the floor and wished he hadn’t because Snape was gaping at him, lucky beta what did he know. 

When Avery stood up, his eyes went back to the floor. 

“Well then, follow me I know a place.”

He deliberately walked next to Avery and not two steps behind like he was supposed to do. He was glad the other boy didn’t make a fuss about it. 

They stopped in an empty corridor near the library. 

“We had a contract,” Sirius blurted before he could lose his courage, “that meant that you were going to accompany during my heat.” 

Avery looked confused, “before you were disowned.” 

“Yes well, I was wondering,” he swallowed, “if you were still interested.” 

Avery looked around before answering, "I was supposed to help an upper-class omega during his first heat, and if all went well and our families agreed, we were to bond after I graduated."

Sirius waited in silence. 

“Now,” the alpha spoke slowly, “I don’t see the benefits, it would be a meaningless heat. Our union wouldn’t be approved by anyone, you have no name and no family.” 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Sirius was quick to reassure him, “nobody even has to know.” 

Avery shook his head, “I would need a ‘heat leave’ if it happened during the week, and these things never stay hidden."

"It would just be for a heat," Sirius repeated somewhat desperate.

"I'm sorry omega but the risk is too high," Avery said firmly.

He guessed he looked as hopeless as he felt because suddenly, the alpha looked at him with pity. 

“What if you got pregnant?” he asked, “I can’t have children out of wedlock.” 

“There’s always potions that prevent that.” 

The pity disappeared, “I said no.”

Sirius grimaced, “what am I supposed to do now?” 

“You should have thought of that before you disgrace your family, you brought this on yourself.” 

He snarled before he remembered what type of alpha was standing in front of him. 

Avery growled, “I’ve seen you running around with those three alphas. You’re a slut Black and I don’t mess around with your type.” 

He didn’t need to listen to this shit, so he made the second mistake in a row by trying to walk away. 

Avery didn’t like it one bit. 

Sirius was grabbed by the shoulder and pushed against a wall. 

“This conversation isn’t over until I said so,” Avery’s alpha red eyes had come to play. 

This close to his heat, and after years of being treated as an equal by his friends, the eyes were affecting him more than usual and he found himself frozen.

Which is how James found them. 

“What’s going on here?” James shouted, “This is a violation of the Rules about Alpha-Omega behaviour in the corridors.” 

He was cursed. There’s no other explanation. Why did today, of all days, James had to do prefect rounds? 

Avery dropped him and Sirius was thankful that he only stumbled a little. 

"I'm afraid I would have to take points off Slytherin and speak to your Head of House about the matter Avery,” James said firmly, eyes shining with repressed anger. 

Avery cleared his throat, "This is a private matter and you would be interested to know that the omega approached me."

"He has a name," James snarled, prefect professionalism forgotten.

“He’s right here,” Sirius protested, “and I don’t want anyone to know about this.”

Both alpha’s looked at him in surprise. 

“There you have it. Matter solved.”

“I can’t just ignore you breaking the rules,” James objected, “no matter what Sirius says about it.”

“The _Omega_ ,” Avery stressed the word, “doesn’t want anyone to know how he came to beg me for my knot.” 

Sirius wasn't sure how he would've reacted because James punched Avery before he could process what was being said.

“You can'd hid me!" Avery spoke through a broken nose. 

Things were turning ugly. 

“James doesn’t report what happened between us if you stay quiet about who hit you,” Sirius said quickly. 

Avery thought about it for a second and nodded before leaving. Guess the risk of being punished for assaulting an omega was too high, broken nose or not. 

“Why did you let him go?” James asked him angrily. 

Great, another alpha angry at him. 

“I don’t want anyone to know what happened,” Sirius explained hopping James would drop the issue. 

James looked at him suspiciously, “and what happened exactly? Last I heard you were talking to Slughorn not hiding in a corner with Avery, a traditionalist alpha.”

“Forget about it,” Sirius hissed. 

His friend squawked indignantly, which would have been hilarious at any other time.

“I can’t forget about it! And I can’t let an alpha treat you like that.” 

He was sick of this gender bullshit, "I don't need your protection, James." 

James exhaled loudly, “I protect you because you’re my friend, not because you are an omega. But this time an alpha was taking advantage of the fact that you are an omega to hurt you.”

“Nobody hurt me,” Sirius muttered. 

James pulled him into a hug, “Mate, I just want to know what’s going on.”

He felt himself melt into the hug and his anger weaken, this had nothing to do with being an omega and everything to do with being touched-starved as a child. The words left his mouth almost without permission after that. 

“… so I thought I would ask Avery because we used to have a contract. That plan backfired as you saw." 

It’s not that marauders ignored on purpose that Sirius was an omega, but after his childhood and the treatment he received from the pureblood circle his parents were part of, Sirius always tried to make people forget he even had a second gender. 

James was looking at him with worry, “Padfoot you don’t need an alpha during your first heat, that’s just some old prejudice about omegas not being able to take care of themselves.”

“Omegas need to be break in, everybody knows that,” Sirius said avoiding eye contact. 

“Merlin balls, Sirius! No one needs to _break you in_ ,” James said with wide eyes, "it would be more comfortable with an alpha but it's not medically necessary." 

“Oh.” 

Now he felt stupid and embarrassed. 

“I don’t understand why you would ask Avery if you thought that was the case,” James said still confused, “you know you can always come to us.” 

Sirius punched his arm lightly, “Come on James we’re like brothers and you’re obnoxiously straight, I couldn’t ask you to do something like this.”

“I still would help you through it,” he said earnestly, “you’re my friend Sirius. If you need help I will be there.”

Omega or not, Sirius Black did not cry. 

“Thank you, Prongs,” he said voice trembling. 

“Besides, I’m not the only alpha in the group.” James said shit-eating grin in place, “I know a bisexual alpha who would be very happy to help you with a heat.” 

The blush came back with vengeance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Padfoot and Moony sitting in a tree,” James sang loudly, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

Sirius ran away. 

James followed him, “First comes love, then comes bonding, then comes baby in a baby carriage.” 

He kept singing it over and over again and the people around them laughed when they saw their antics. 

It seemed as if things had returned to normal. 


	2. Of Friendship & Heats

Sirius started to notice the symptoms during breakfast, he felt feverish, restless and itchy. Foolishly he thought that he was coming down with a cold and didn’t connect the dots until he was sitting in Transfiguration class. By then it was too late. Every alpha in the room was sniffing his way when Sirius raised his hand and asked to be excused. 

McGonagall, an alpha herself, asked if she needed to give permission to anyone else. Only the purebloods showed surprised when he said no. If they were going to call him a blood traitor he’ll shove their traditions up his arse. He was an independent omega, not a pampered bitch that needed an alpha to hold his hand. With his head held high and his wand in his hand, he walked all the way to the Gryffindor common room and up the stairs, opening the door to the separate bedroom he had next to the one he shared with the Marauders. When he had presented as an omega, Hogwarts – the castle was way too sentient for his comfort – had created a separate bedroom for him that he vowed to only use during his heats. 

The righteous anger at being lied at, at being told that he needed an alpha in order to survive, in order to do anything really, only lasted him a couple of minutes. Because although he didn't need an alpha, he _wanted_ one. He wanted to be filled, to be fucked, to be held. He awkwardly succeeded in the first two with his new _heat toys_ , but the last one was impossible alone. 

And so, three days passed. 

When he cautiously entered the bedroom he shared with his friends he was a little scared of being treated differently. He was wrong. 

Peter greeted him with, “I h-hope your arse isn’t too s-sore because we have two hours of History of Magic right now and those wooden chairs aren’t comfy.”

Which caused the other two to glare at him, but made Sirius laughed. Good Ol’ Peter, his lack of tack truly was one of his best qualities. 

Remus huffed, “Wormtail don’t be so crude.” 

Why did he like this prude again?

“Sirius, I made copies of my notes for you and talked to the professors about your heat leave,” Remus rambled on, “they legally can’t lower your grade so if anyone gives you trouble I’ll help you write a formal letter complaining about it to Professor Dumbledore.” 

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said, touched.

Remus blushed and pretended to look for something in his backpack. 

It should be illegal to be that adorable. 

James, unable to live in a world where he wasn’t the centre of attention, coughed and ruined the moment. 

“We’re going to be late people, let’s move.”

Later that day, when he was lying down in the Gryffindor common room pretending to do his potions essay so Moony wouldn’t scold him, he was corner by the unofficial mother hen of their group of friends. 

“So, was it okay?” James whispered. 

Sirius rolled his eyes, and said sharply “Yes, Prongs. I survived three days of sexual frustration.” 

James gasped dramatically, “I was just being nice.” 

When it was obvious James wasn’t going to leave without an answer, Sirius elaborated, “I mean it was frustrating as I said but I can bear through them.” 

James winced, “That bad?” 

"I'm sorry to burst your alpha bubble about heats being sexy and fun for omegas," Sirius replied, "It felt like a huge inconvenience that made me cry for three days."

James had the decency to look abashed, “I didn’t think it would make you cry, I’m sorry Padfoot.” 

“Well, it is what it is,” Sirius said in a tone that implied the conversation was over. 

James, for once, shuts up.

Which really should’ve been Sirius first clue that James was up to no good. 

000

Two days later he’s ambushed with a proposition he never expected from James. 

“I thought you were my friend!” Sirius shouted, fists clenched. 

James gaped, “W-what! Of course, I am!” 

Sirius laughed bitterly, “Sure doesn’t feel like it. Friends don’t want to fuck you.” 

James ran his fingers through his hair, shaken, “I don’t want to fuck you. I mean I do! I do! B-but it’s not only about fucking you. I want–”

Sirius sneered, “Let me guess James, you want to _help me_.” 

James nodded, looking somewhat relieved. 

Sirius advanced towards him, eyes blazing with fury and chest heaving, “You told me I didn’t need an alpha, and I don’t. I told you heats are bearable.” 

James inched backwards, “Bearable isn’t good, Sirius. It could be enjoyable if you had an alpha.” 

Sirius poked his chest with his finger, “I. Don’t. Need. An. Alpha.” 

James grabbed his shoulders, “That doesn’t mean you can’t want one. I’m offering myself because I don’t want you to suffer.” 

Sirius shrugged off James hands, “Oh. How kind of you. I didn’t know fucking me would be such a hardship.” 

“It’s not a hardship!” James exclaimed, “I want to spend your heat with you. You’re handsome, funny and charming. But most importantly you’re my friend whom I love.” 

“You l-love me?” Sirius stuttered, expression changing from anger to pity. 

“Not like that,” James reassured him, “I love you like a friend.”

“A friend that wants to fuck me?” Sirius asked, just to be certain because this wasn’t a conversation he ever thought he would have with James. 

"Yes," James said exasperatedly.

Nobody said anything for a while. Some kids were playing Exploding Snap right outside the empty classroom they were in and their laughter filled in the silence.

When it was obvious Sirius wasn’t going to speak, James said, “I think you’re good looking and that helping you through your heat would be enjoyable for both of us. I heard you talking to Lily about maybe finding an alpha for your heats in the future–”

“That was a private conversation–!” 

“– and I don’t want you to make the same mistake you did last time. Padfoot, you’re my friend above everything else and I wouldn’t suggest this if I thought it would hurt our friendship. It’s just an offer, you can say no and I’ll forget about it.” 

Sirius exhaled, “I need to think about it.” 

“Of course, mate. Take your time.”

And he did, for a whole week, it was the only thing that occupied his mind. The pros and the cons taunted him and infinitive what if's played before his eyes when he dreamt. His biggest concern was that it would hurt, followed by James judging him for not knowing what to do. But after the whole _‘Almost sleeping with an alpha he didn’t want to’_ incident, Sirius had actually looked for information regarding his biology. Lily and the Hogwarts library had been of great help. As a result, he knew that with proper care going through a heat with an alpha isn’t supposed to hurt. So that con is discarded. And secondly, Sirius knew, deep down, that James wouldn’t judge him for something like this, so that also gets erased of his cons list. 

The third biggest concern he has is that Remus wouldn't want him afterwards. That maybe he would think that Sirius had been tainted by James touch or that it would be weird to be with him because James already had him. But worrying about a relationship that doesn't exist with a guy that doesn't see him that way is all kinds of stupid. So he shoved that out his mind and ended up with no cons. Still, that wasn't enough to convince him that it was a good idea so he did a little bit of soul searching to see if sleeping with James was something he wanted, and he found out that it was. It was James, they’re best friends for life. He couldn't lose his virginity to a better candidate. 

He agreed a week later and James, as usual, began to plan for it. 

With a shamelessness that must come from having two very liberal parents, James randomly accosted him with information about what to expect during heat sex. He told him about what kind of prep they were going to need while buttering his toast during breakfast, he doodled comfortable sex positions in Charms class and sat him down for a very serious conversation about consent right after a Quidditch game in the locker room. 

Sirius was very uncomfortable with the whole thing but James insisted that communication and consent were very important if they want to do this – which they don’t have to if Sirius isn’t comfortable! – So Sirius made the effort to listen and participate in their awkward conversations. 

000

This time his heat was so different from his last that Sirius considered writing an ode to James ~~knot~~. It was awkward, silly and filled with nervous energy (because despite his confidence James is a virgin himself). Most importantly it was pain-free and Sirius felt loved and cared for during the entire duration. 

They explored different positions and Sirius found that he loved fucking James. He loved the thickness of his cock and how it curved a little. He loved the sounds James made and he loved that having sex with him was so easy. They have a solid friendship build on mutual respect and love for each other. Something strong that can survive a little sex.

Spending this heat riding James, sweat sliding over his lean stomach, thighs trembling, hair stuck to his forehead and toes curl with pleasure is something he can get used to. Sadly, what he had with James was never meant to last. He had Lily and Sirius, well Sirius loves Remus. 

Their last coupling is slow, fingers trying to hold on the moment, eyes drinking every little detail and ears memorizing sounds. When his heat ends they were a shaky mess, a little shocked about what they’ve done but ultimately happy and clinging to one another.

000

Sirius was still high on endorphins when he encountered Remus at breakfast the morning after his heat. He sat down next to the quiet alpha but before he could talk, Remus stood up and left. It was enough to shock him out of his happiness. 

Lily doesn’t look very happy with him either. 

“I thought you guys were brothers,” she said with fake cheerfulness. 

"Me and James?" Sirius asked feeling wrong-footed.

Lily smiled, all teeth, “Yes, you two spending a heat together. It’s all everyone has talked about in days.”

Sirius moaned and covered his face, “why don’t they leave me alone?” 

He received a few harsh pats on his back. 

“There, there.” 

“They talk if I don’t spend my heat with an alpha and they talk if I do,” he said, voice muffled by his hands. 

Lily sighed and her voice softened a little, “Sirius this whole school is filled with twats, ignored them.” 

“Head high and fuck them attitude, you told me last time,” he said as he raised his head. 

“That’s right.” 

“You also told me to find an alpha I could trust,” he reminded her, “and I did, so I don’t know why you’re mad.” 

“I thought you were going to pick Remus,” she said defensively. 

He fumbled, failing to hide his surprise, “why would I ask him?” 

Lily snorted and raised her eyebrows as if asking ‘you’re going to lie to me?’ 

Fair enough. 

“I do have a crush on Remus,” he whispered his friend’s name, “but I can’t jeopardize our friendship with this.”

“You slept with your supposed brother!” 

Sirius' eyes widened, "don't yell stuff like that! I don't want to feed the public with more gossip."

Lily didn't appear to be calmer as she spoke but at least she made an effort to lower her voice, "I don't understand you at all."

“It wasn’t like that, we’re not together,” he reassured her, “we’re friends and that’s it.” 

“Just friends?”

“Yes. That’s all we’ll ever be.”

“I’m glad then.” 

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "is there's something you want to share with the class, Miss Evans?"

“No. It’s just that I don’t think you and James would make a good couple, that’s all,” she said defensively. 

“A good couple? Maybe not. But a couple that has great sex? You bet.” 

She grimaced, “not funny Sirius. I don’t want to think about you two like that.”

“I wonder why,” he said wiggling his eyebrows. 

“James is too ugly. It’s not a pretty image.” Lily said, lying like the big liar that she is. 

Knowing that after years of rejecting James, Lily wasn't going to accept her feelings for him, Sirius gave up. Still, it was good to know that Prongs had a chance with the redhead after all.

“Whatever you say, Lily, whatever you say.” 

000

Lily hadn’t been wrong about the gossip. Sirius had to endure giggles, whispers and crude ‘compliments’ from guys who thought he was fair game now. 

Omegas slept with alphas during their heats because it made the whole thing easier. Why was this gossip worthy? It should’ve been normalized by now. 

Maybe they thought it was weird that he and James weren’t a couple, or they thought it was interesting because both of them were popular. Either way, Sirius was tired of their bullshit.

“Do you know what’s wrong with everyone today?” James asked him, in lieu of a greeting. 

“Are they also bothering you?” 

James shook his head, “they haven’t said anything to me but everyone just whispers and giggles as I walk.” 

“Lily told me that everyone has been talking about the fact that we both took a heat leave at the same time.” 

“That’s just stupid, so what if we slept together?” 

Sirius nodded, “I know, they’re a bunch of twats if you ask me.”

A realization seemed to hit James, “That’s why that Ravenclaw high fived me in the hallway.” 

“A high five?” Sirius wrinkled his nose, “That’s so gross.”

“I always knew he was a wanker.” 

Sirius was going to comment about the harassment he had received when James shouted, “Remus! Mate, come here.” 

Remus shuffled his feet, books clutched to his chest like a shield, “I have a lot of homework, and I can’t stay.” 

“Homework? It’s Friday, there’s lots of time to do it."

Remus glanced at Sirius before he mumbled, “I really need the time.” 

With that, the werewolf turned and left a gaping James and a confused Sirius.

“What’s his deal?” 

Sirius shrugged, “Beats me, he also avoided me during breakfast.”

"We always do our homework together," James complained.

“Do you think it has something to do with us spending a heat together?” Sirius asked carefully. 

"You told me he didn't like you!"

“I don’t know. I don’t think he does.” 

James shook his head, “Besides he was fine with me during Charms and lunch. I don’t think it’s about that.” 

Sirius was going to tell him about how people appeared to be treating them differently (gee he wondered why) when Wormtail sat next to them.

“You wouldn’t guess what I just saw, Ernie Brown was fighting with Thomas Wilson outside the library and this bird was crying, so Slughorn–”

Looks like they were already old news. 

000

He was wrong. 

Sure everyone was busy finding the details about the fight and speculating about what caused it, but some of the most persistent alphas still leered at him when he walked past them.

Wormtail had even approached him about it. 

“Padfoot, you’re my friend,” Wormtail said ducking his head, “and I think you should know that Snivellus has been saying something about you throwing yourself at every alpha that’s willing.” 

“That miserable son of a bitch!” Sirius fumed. 

“I told them that it was a lie and that you’ve only did it with James because he was your best friend," Wormtail reassured him.

Alpha kindness, Sirius had come to understand, was often misguided. 

"That's not the point, they don't deserve to know how many guys I've slept with or anything related to my sex life."

Wormtail nodded earnestly, “I know mate, but they were calling you names. I didn’t know what to do.” 

“Tell them that just because I slept with James doesn’t mean I would go anywhere near their junk. And that they’re sexist assholes who would never find happiness in their life if they maintain their bigoted opinions.” 

Wormtail coughed, somewhere between amused and uncomfortable, “O-okay. I can do that.” 

“Also throw in an insult about their small dicks. Alphas are so self-conscious about size.”

“Hey! That’s not fair, I know you also worry about that.” 

Sirius laughed and clapped his friend's shoulder, "You just proved me right."

Wormtail laughed after that, “I guess I did.”

“And well I’m still a guy. I guess I’m just as dumb as the rest.”

Wormtail was still smiling when Remus entered their shared room, saw them and promptly left, mumbling something about forgetting his book downstairs. 

Instantly their light and friendly mood evaporated. 

"I also wanted to talk to you about Remus," Wormtail admitted with a nervous laugh. 

“He’s been acting weird, I know.”

“Maybe he likes you back.” 

Sirius felt his eyes widen, “what do you mean back? I don’t l-like Remus, he’s my friend.”

“Padfoot, you’re smitten. Everyone can tell.”

Sirius groaned, not even bothering to deny it. 

“It’s kind of cute actually.” Wormtail teased him. “You get all red and clumsy.” 

Sirius squawked, “I’ve never blushed in my life. You take that back!” 

Wormtail smiled at him patronizingly, “Okay Sirius, I believe you.”

He grabbed a pillow and tried to smother Peter with it, the topic was effectively dropped after that. 

000

The conversation with Peter kept him awake that night because it brought a new doubt into his mind. What if Remus had realized he had a crush on him and was avoiding him because he didn’t feel the same? That would be so embarrassing. If Peter had noticed, it meant that everyone had. 

He seriously needed to talk to his friend and work things out. 


	3. Electric Love

Remus was painfully aware that he was acting weird and that his behaviour was making his friends uncomfortable. He just needed time to assimilate what happened and move on without hurting either Sirius or James. He didn’t own the smaller omega, there was nothing going on between them, so he had no right to demand an explanation. Nevertheless, he felt like he needed one, he had foolishly thought that he and Sirius had an unspoken understanding about their feelings for each other and that it would eventually evolve into a relationship. But maybe it was all in his head and he had built up his hopes for nothing. 

His feelings were all over the place and ironically Sirius was always the one he went to when he was feeling overwhelmed. He tried and failed to sort things out himself but only succeeded in freaking out everyone around him. Sirius was starting to look hurt and the other two were beginning to see him as a threat and gave off protective vibes whenever he entered a room and ignore Sirius. 

A hand briefly touched his shoulder and through the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of red. He turned to look and saw that Lily had sat next to him in the grass and was looking over to the lake. A few minutes went by in silence and Remus gradually relax as Lily leaned against his side. 

“You need to get your arse out of your heard,” Lily said matter-of-factly.

Remus nodded, “I don’t even know where to start.” 

“You need to talk to Sirius.” 

“I just want to sort my feelings first, I need time.”

She shook her head, “you don’t have time. You know how Sirius is, if you let him think too much, he’ll convince himself that everyone hates him and that somehow everything is his fault.”

Remus groaned, “You’re right, he’s an idiot.”

Lily snorted, “He’s not the _only one_ that can be an idiot.”

“I deserve that.”

He played with the grass beneath his fingers for a while and Lily entertain herself with braiding bits of his hair. 

“I don’t understand why this doesn’t bother you,” he said. 

Her fingers stopped, “I actually talked to Sirius about it.”

“Nothing he says can make this better.”

“You’ll be surprised.”

Remus sighed, “Intellectually I know that Sirius is his own man and that he’s free to do what he pleases. But it hurts that he choose James over me.”

“I don’t think he did. Talk to him.”

“I will,” he promised her. 

She smiled, "good because I asked him to meet me by the lake and he'll be here any second now."

“What? No, Lily. I need time,” he begged her. 

Lily shook her head, “you need to talk to him. I’m going to go now, so you’ll have time to gather yourself before he arrives and I hope, for your sake, that you stay here and wait for him.”

With that, Lily kissed his cheek and left.

Anxiously picking the grass Remus tried to gather his thoughts. Sooner than he wanted, a confused Sirius approached him. 

“I’m not following you. I’m supposed to meet with Lily here,” Sirius said, avoiding eye contact. 

He hated that his avoidance had made Sirius be this defensive towards him.

“Lily just left, but you can sit here with me if you want,” Remus said. 

“O-okay,” Sirius said as he sat down next to Remus, a little farther away than Lily had been but Remus didn’t blame him. 

“Sirius –”

“Remus –”

They both blushed. 

“I don’t know why you’re avoiding me,” Sirius blurted. 

"Sirius, I didn't mean too –" Remus began.

“But you are, and I don’t know what I did to make you hate me,” Sirius whispered. 

The Black family was going to pay one day for screwing up Sirius’ self-worth, but Remus was aware that this time it had been his fault. 

"I don't hate you, Sirius," Remus was quick to reassured, "I just needed time."

Sirius didn’t look convinced, “time for what?” 

Now or never. 

“Time to get over you,” Remus said turning his head so he wouldn’t see the pity on Sirius’ face. 

“What are you talking about?” Sirius asked baffled.

Either he was bad at expressing his feelings or Sirius was particularly dense. Probably both. 

“Do you remembered when I told you that I was bisexual?” Remus asked. 

Sirius blinked at the non-sequitur but nodded, “Boy was that a painful conversation to have. You kept drawing kittens and chickens and hoping I understood.” 

Remus spluttered, “I-I was making a joke, you idiot!”

Sirius shook his head, “Didn’t get it.”

“Cock and pussy, Sirius. Cock and pussy.” 

“…That’s so lame. I can’t believe you’re my friend.”

“That’s not the point!” Remus squeaked. A mean group of third years near them heard the sound and started laughing. Not the most romantic setting to confess his feelings, but it’ll do. “I told you then that I knew I was bisexual because there was a bloke that I fancied.”

“You never told me who he was,” Sirius pouted. 

“I just did,” Remus said. 

Sirius frowned, “Huh?”

Did he really need to spell it out?

“I fancy you,” Remus chocked out, hands clenching in his lap and heart going a mile a minute. 

Sirius gasped, “You don’t!” 

This wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. 

“I mean you can’t,” Sirius continued, “why would you ignore me then? That doesn’t make any sense.”

"I just told you!" Remus said exasperatedly. Were they having the same conversation?

“…you needed time to get over me?”

“YES!” Remus cheered about finally being understood, then deflated, “I just need time to be okay with you and James.” 

“Me and James?” Sirius asked looking at Remus as though he grown a second head. 

Remus hesitated then asked, “You two are together, right?” 

Sirius goggled at him “Why would you think that?”

“Omega’s don’t usually spend their heats with just about anyone.”

Sirius face harden, “Are you calling me a slut, Remus?” 

Remus eyes widen, “I would never!” 

But Sirius wasn’t done, “I don’t understand why everyone’s so obsessed about me spending my heat with James. Heats are uncomfortable and painful and James offered to help because he’s my friend.” 

“Just friends?”

“Why? You have a problem with me sleeping with a friend?” Sirius hissed. 

He needed to do damage control now. 

“ – because if you do, you aren’t any better than every other alpha in this school that’s been making my life miserable this week.” 

“What alphas?” Remus asked outraged. 

“Don’t change the subject!” 

“Of course, I- I mean,” Remus stuttered, completely lost as to what the subject was. 

Sirius seemed angry and on the verge of tears and it made his instincts go haywire, but most importantly it hurt him to see his friend like that. 

“I like you,” Remus repeated hoping to get back on track, “and I was hurt when you slept with James because I thought we had something going on between us. I avoided you because I need time to get over you.” 

Sirius shook his head, “I- I don’t know what to think. You’re very confusing moony.”

Remus relaxed at being called moony, it seemed things weren’t as bad as he thought. 

Sirius hesitated before continuing, “I also like you,” he whispered, “and I thought you were avoiding me because you found out and thought it was awkward or something.”

“I really am an idiot,” Remus whispered to himself. When Sirius only stared at him, he said louder, “Lily said we were being idiots and I agreed but I didn’t know the extent of it.”

“When Lily says something, you listen.”

"I like you, you like me," Remus said still amazed by the turn of events, "are we going to do something about it?"

Sirius blushed, “I would like to,” a smile was forming on his face but then it stopped, “but how do you feel about what happened with James?” 

Hard question. 

“I’m not thrilled you slept with him but I don’t have any right to complain,” Remus said honestly. 

“I don’t regret it,” Sirius said defiantly, “he helped to be more comfortable with my body and he's my best friend.”

“I’m not asking you to regret it nor am I ever going to give you hard time because of that.”

“I can work with that,” Sirius said after a while. 

“You can?” Remus asked with a smile. 

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. 

“Does this mean I can ask you out on a date?” 

Sirius gave him a shy smile, “Yes.”

000

Dating Sirius was surprisingly normal, in the sense that after a few weeks he couldn't understand a life where they weren't together when it was so obvious they were meant for each other. They had their awkward moments in the beginning but even then Remus had felt immense happiness. There was just something so precious about falling in love with someone you knew you could trust, to share secrets with someone who understood you perfectly. 

For their first date, Remus wanted to do something a little bit different so he invited Sirius to an enchanted puppet play.

"Should I buy the food?" Sirius asked him, a small smile tugging at his lips, "since you bought the tickets."

“That seems fair,” Remus said, smiling back. 

The play itself was adorable, a story about a family reuniting in an epic adventure. The only downfall was that because of the innocent nature of the tale, the room was filled with kids and their families. So the only thing that Remus dare to do was hold Sirius' hand. And even that felt different somehow, the merest touch between them distracted Remus and gave him a feeling similar to what the muggles called electricity. 

They kissed on the second date, a secret picnic in a tunnel known only by their group of friends. Remus wasn't proud to say that their first kiss had more tongue involved that was probably appropriate for a first kiss but Sirius drove him crazy. Every touch between them lit a fire beneath Remus skin, and if a few kisses and a little bit of hand holding left him thinking about it for days afterwards he didn’t know what they’ll do when it was time for Sirius heat. 

Which remind him – 

“Padfoot?” 

Sirius hummed without looking up, a copy of ‘Quidditch through the Ages’ open on his lap. 

“Can you stop that for a second?” He asked, “It’s kind of important.”

Sirius looked up, pouting, “I actually like this chapter a lot, can you wait?” 

Remus shook his head, “James is going to be here in less than an hour and I we need privacy for what I’m thinking.”

“Who cares about Quidditch in Asia?” Sirius asked with a smirk, throwing the book away, and quickly jumping on Remus’ lap. 

“Sirius –” Remus halfheartedly protested between kisses. Thoughts escaping him and blood flowing downwards at an alarming speed. When he felt Sirius boner pocking his stomach he decided to put a stop to it. He turned his head to the side and repeated, “We need to talk.”

Sirius blinked, cheeks flushed and hair mussed, "Are you serious?"

“Very Sirius.” 

His boyfriend groaned, “What have I told you about puns?”

Remus replied, “As Oscar Levant once said: A pun is the lowest form of humour—when you don't think of it first."

Sirius shook his head, “You’re incorrigible.”

Remus winked, “You wouldn’t date me otherwise.”

Sirius leaned in and whispered close to his mouth, “I could think of other reasons why I date you.”

Remus gave into temptation one last time but kept the kiss short and lift Sirius off his lap. 

“You’re no fun Remus Lupin,” Sirius complained before sitting next to him, "what's so urgent, anyway?"

“Your heat,” Remus said, carefully gauging for Sirius reaction. 

“My heat?” Sirius asked confused, “I mean, I – Lately I have been hornier,” he admitted blushing, “but Remus that’s not my heat, you just turn me on.”

Now it was Remus turn to blush. 

“I meant what are we going to do when your heat comes?”

“Oh.” 

Sirius started pulling threads from his sweater, seemingly enthralled with what he was doing. “I thought that,” he began mumbling, “It was a given that you’ll spend it with me.”

Remus took Sirius hands away from his sweater and held them, “I don’t ever want to assume anything with you ever again. That’s what made me ignore you last time, and I promised both of us I wouldn’t do it again.”

Sirius raised his eyes and smiled, “So we’ll spend it together?”

"It would be my honour."

A very disturbed James would later complain to Lily that he couldn’t even tell where Sirius began and Remus ended, _“A mess of legs and arms, not very different from a Blast-Ended Skrewt”_ a description that Sirius resented. 

000

Not a week had passed since they settled the matter of Sirius heat when Remus woke up with a warm body next to him, apparently, _someone_ had sneaked in during the night. He pulled in the sleeping omega closer and breathe in his scent, relishing in the fact that he was able to do it, that Sirius had chosen him as his alpha. His scent was stronger which meant that Sirius would be going into heat sooner than expected, probably today. 

A to-do list popped inside his head and Remus quickly got up, careful to avoid disturbing his boyfriend. He packed clothes, Sirius contraceptive potions, towels, and everything that seemed even remotely useful, into two big bags. 

Remus was about to write their respective heat leave’s when a voice from one of the beds interrupted him.

“I think you need to wake him up," James said, pupils blown wide. 

Remus snarled and stood up in front of his bed, getting between his omega and the other alpha. 

“I’m not challenging you, but you need to move soon,” James warned, voice muffled by the hand that he was using to cover his nose. 

His instincts were telling him to fight the other alpha, to eliminate the enemy, but his mind was screaming at him that James was his friend and that Sirius had chosen him. _Not before sleeping with James_ , a snide voice remarked inside his head, but he quickly dismisses it. 

“You’re right,” Remus admitted through gritted teeth, “I just need you and Peter to leave the room before I wake him up.”

James nodded, “That’s fair, let me get him.”

Not taking his eyes off James proved to be a mistake because as soon as he stood up Remus was able to see that his friend had a boner, which did nothing to calm his protective alpha instincts

“Are you serious, James?” Remus whispered angrily, gesturing to his friend’s bulge. 

Embarrassed, James grabbed a pillow to hide it, “It’s just biology.”

“Get out.” 

“Aye, aye, Capitan,” James said. And although he was joking James understood that Remus needed the space, so he rudely woke up Peter and half dragged the smaller boy out of the room. 

Remus, calmer now that his territory was secure, finished writing the required paperwork. Just as the ink was drying he heard a whimper coming from his bed. It seemed that his precious omega had finally woken up. Sure enough, he found a flustered Sirius sitting in his bed. 

“I think my heat’s early,” Sirius mumble, cheeks flushed. 

Gently cupping Sirius face in his hands, Remus checked his pupils (blown) before he nodded, “Yes, sweetie, we need to get going.”

“Sweetie?” Sirius snorted. 

Remus was mildly embarrassed that he had let that pet name slip, but he wasn’t going to take it back, “You’re my sweet omega, my sweetie.”

Sirius blush darken, “Remus!”

“Do you really mind pet names?”

“… No, but don’t overdo it.”

Remus nod with mock seriousness, “You’re things are already packed Your Highness, we just need to get out of this room.” 

Sirius nodded solemnly, “That’s the attitude I was looking for. Escort me to our destination, boy.”

Remus bowed and offer his arm out for Sirius. The omega let himself be escorted, nose haughtily in the air. 

When they enter the room Remus began to check the perimeter for intruders, instincts screaming at him to keep his lover safe. Sirius, however, immediately undressed with shaking, too-quick hands his usual graceful movements gone.

“Let the curtains alone Remus there’s no one here,” the omega complained from the bed. 

Remus ignored his boyfriend, moving onto the closets to confirm they were alone. He was about to enter the loo when he heard an unmistakable wet noise coming from the bed.

“I don’t need you to have a good time,” Sirius said as if it wasn’t obvious by the way his fingers were disappearing inside him. 

“I wish I was a poet,” Remus said as he walked towards the bed, gaze never leaving his lover, “so that I could describe how you made me feel. Or an artist so that I could forever capture your beauty.”

Sirius moaned, head thrown back and neck stretch, “If you keep talking like that I’m going to finish very fast.” He added a third finger and a whine escaped his mouth, “However, if you stop talking, I would never let you take a photo of me during my heat.” 

Remus honest to Merlin panted at the thought, “you’ll let me take a photo of you?” he whispered in wonder, “that’s not a promise you should be making to any alpha.”

Sirius shook his head, "not any alpha. My alpha."

Remus pounced. 

He felt almost delirious as he kissed every inch of Sirius body, his hormones raging as he took in the smell and sight of an omega in heat. Of _his omega_ in heat. Sirius was soft and open, slick running down his trembling thighs. Remus laid on top of his boyfriend, one hand fingering him, and the other one supporting his weight so that he could explore Sirius body with his mouth. When he entered Sirius, they gasped together. 

“You need to relax,” Remus murmured against Sirius’s skin, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Sirius whimpered and shook his head, seemingly beyond words. 

Remus counted to ten a couple of times, waiting for Sirius to relax, when he received a shaky _‘I’m okay’_ he continued slowly. But this was a heat, and Sirius wouldn’t settle for slow, so after a few careful thrusts, his omega was begging him to go faster and deeper. So he delivered.

Afterwards, he held Sirius in his arms and with a rag he cleaned them both.

“How are you feeling?” Remus asked gently. 

Sirius nodded, head lying on Remus chest and arms holding him tight, “I’m f-fine.”

“Was it okay?” Remus questioned, worried that he did something wrong.

Sirius smiled against his skin, “It was perfect because it was with you.” 

“I feel the same way,” Remus said, kissing Sirius forehead and holding the omega tighter in his arms. 

Maybe it was the hormones talking or maybe it was just the effect Sirius had on him, but at that moment Remus was able to envision with clarity their future as a couple, and it was bright with love. With dreams about their future adventures and thoughts of building a home, Remus joined Sirius in his sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate kudos, comments and/ or constructive criticism.
> 
> I don't have a beta and English isn't my first language so if you see any mistakes feel free to point them out.


End file.
